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The singular best fun told by each president, from Obama to Washington


Ike, Dick, Bill, Barack, Ron and George suffer a good laugh. (AP; Larry Downing/Reuters; AP)

Presidential amusement is usually a half-step from father humor, that in a universe of comedy is considered light treason. But we’ve attempted to find during slightest one zinger from each U.S. president, to mark President Obama’s final set of stand-up comedy during his eighth White House Correspondents’ Association cooking on Saturday. Some zingers have reduction zing than others. Some are flat, some are apocryphal, some are usually threats and some, in a box of Warren Harding, are quaint, amatory references to a arch executive genitalia. But they are presidential, by definition, and therefore funny, by acclamation.

 

Barack Obama, at a 2012 White House correspondents’ dinner

“I have a lot some-more element prepared, though we have to get a Secret Service home in time for their new curfew.”

 

George W. Bush, at a 2006 White House correspondents’ dinner

“Cheney’s a good man. He’s got a good heart. [Pause] Well, he’s a good man.”

 

Bill Clinton, at a 2000 White House correspondents’ dinner

“Over a final few months I’ve mislaid 10 pounds. Where did they go? Why haven’t we constructed them to a eccentric counsel? How did some of them conduct to breeze adult on Tim Russert?”

 

George H.W. Bush, at a 1989 Gridiron Club dinner

“People contend I’m indecisive, though we don’t know about that.”

 

Ronald Reagan, to protesters at UCLA

“‘Make adore not war’? By a looks of you, we don’t demeanour like we could do many of either.”


Jimmy Carter fiddles with Pope John Paul II’s windblown garment during a White House in Oct 1979. (AP)

 

Jimmy Carter, riffing during a 1979 correspondents’ cooking about a aged White House indoor swimming pool that Richard Nixon lonesome over to build a press room

Press Secretary Jody Powell “has been perplexing to convince me to free a White House swimming pool — suddenly. . . Any of we that tarry would, of course, have permanent swimming privileges.”

 

Gerald Ford, at a boozy Radio and Television Correspondents’ Association cooking in 1974

“At a time when supports for a defense budget competence be cut, it’s comforting to see so many of a large guns from your attention still removing loaded.”

 

 

Richard Nixon, in Ms. repository in 1971 when asked about women’s lib

“Let me make one thing ideally clear. we wouldn’t wish to arise adult subsequent to a lady pipefitter.”

 

Lyndon Johnson, on Ford

“So reticent he can’t fart and gnaw resin during a same time.”

 

John F. Kennedy, responding to critique that Robert Kennedy wasn’t competent to be profession general

“I don’t see anything wrong with giving Bobby a tiny authorised knowledge before he goes out on his possess to use law.”


John F. Kennedy laughs over a spilled tray of coffee on a rug of a conduit Kitty Hawk in Jun 1963. (Henry Griffin/AP)

 

Dwight D. Eisenhowerwhen asked to name one large preference that Nixon helped make as clamp president

“If we give me a week, we competence consider of one.”

 

Harry S. Truman, on Adlai Stevenson

“He’s no improved than a unchanging sissy.”

 

Franklin D. Roosevelt, when told his mother was in a prison

“I’m not surprised. But what for?”

 

Herbert Hoover

“Blessed are a young, for they shall get a inhabitant debt.”

 

Calvin Coolidge, on Hoover

“That male has offering me unsolicited recommendation for 6 years, all of it bad.”

 

Warren G. Harding, referring to his penis, that he named Jerry, in a 1915 adore minute to his mistress Carrie Fulton Phillips

“Jerry — we remember Jerry, whose cards we once sent we to Europe — came in while we was introspective your records in blissful reflection, and we talked about it.”


Warren G. Harding throws out a initial round a 1921 Washington Senators game. Jerry is not pictured. (AP)

 

Woodrow Wilson

“A regressive is someone who creates no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt.”

 

William Howard Taft

“Some group are graduated from college cum laude, some are graduated summa cum laude, and some are graduated mirabile dictu.”

 

Theodore Roosevelt, on Taft

“A flub-dub with a strain of a second rate and common in him.”

 

William McKinley, to his effusive secretary of state, William R. Day, after he voiced unhappiness for leaving.

“Well, Judge Day, each change so distant in a bureau of secretary of state has been an improvement!”

 


William McKinley is sworn in as boss as his predecessor, Grover Cleveland, appears to smell something unpleasant. (Library of Congress around AP)

 

Grover Cleveland

“No male has ever nonetheless been hanged for violation a suggestion of a law.”

 

Benjamin Harrison

“When we hear a Democrat braggadocio himself of a age of his party, we feel like reminding him that there are other orderly evils in a universe comparison than a Democratic party.”

Grover Cleveland

 

Grover Cleveland, who had dual apart administrations though usually not adequate good quips to fill them both, so we spin to a fun told not by though about Cleveland during a 1884 race, concerning rumors that he had fathered a child out of wedlock 

“Ma, Ma, where’s my Pa? Gone to a White House. Ha ha ha!”

 

 

Chester A. Arthur, dishing during a Republican celebration about how his sheet won Indiana

“If it were not for a reporters, we would tell we a truth.”

 

James Garfield, on a presidency

“My God! What is there in this place that a male should ever wish to get into it?”

 

Rutherford B. Hayes, when told that a congressional overthrow wanted to mislay him and implement Democrat Samuel J. Tilden

“Mr. Tilden will be arrested and shot.”

 

Ulysses S. Grant, when told that Charles Sumner, a moral senator from Massachusetts, didn’t trust in a Bible

“No, he didn’t write it.”

 

Andrew Johnson

“Washington, D.C., is twelve block miles bordered by reality.”

 

Abraham Lincoln

“If we were two-faced, would we be wearing this one?”

 


Did we know that Abraham Lincoln favourite to Snapchat his best quips? (Washington Post Illustration/Getty Images)

 

James Buchanan, to his wine merchants per their tiny bottles of bubbly

“Pints are really untimely in this house, as [champagne] is not used in such tiny quantities.”

 

 

Franklin Pierce, when asked about a president’s duties after withdrawal office

“There’s zero left. . . though to get drunk.”

 

Millard Fillmore, declining an titular grade from Oxford (and presumably poking fun during Andrew Jackson’s acceptance of one from Harvard)

“I have not a advantage of a exemplary education, and no male should, in my judgment, accept a grade he can't read.”

 

Zachary Taylor, when a Whig initial suggested that Taylor run for president

“Stop your nonsense and splash your whiskey!”

 

James K. Polk, on Buchanan

“Mr. Buchanan is an means man but. . . infrequently acts like an aged maid.”

 

John Tyler, on his genocide bed

“Doctor, we am going. Perhaps it is best.”

 

William Henry Harrison

“To Englishmen, life is a topic, not an activity.”

 

Martin Van Buren

“As to a presidency, a dual happiest days of my life were those of my opening on a bureau and my obey of it.”

 

Andrew Jackson

“John Calhoun, if we mutiny from my republic we will mutiny your conduct from a rest of your body.”


Joke’s on Jackson: He’s removing a foot from a $20 bill. (U.S. Treasury around AP)

 

John Quincy Adams, on Jackson

“A barbarous who can't write a judgment of abbreviation and can frequency spell his possess name.”

 

James Monroe, to Alexander Hamilton

“You are a scoundrel.”

 

 

James Madisonon his genocide bed

“I always speak improved fibbing down.”

 

Thomas Jefferson, on John Adams

“He is as just as a being who done him.”

 

 

John Adams, on Alexander Hamilton

“That illegitimate brat of a Scottish peddler!”

 

 

George Washington, in a 1788 minute congratulating a Marquis de Chastellux on his new marriage

“Now we are good served for entrance to fight in foster of a American Rebels, all a approach opposite a Atlantic Ocean, by throwing that terrible Contagion — domestic felicity — that like a tiny pox or a plague, a male can have usually once in his life: since it ordinarily lasts him (at slightest with us in America — we don’t know how we conduct these matters in France) for his whole life time.”

 

READ ALSO:

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The 2016 White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner: The fashion, a fights, a parties, a jokes, a guests

Barack Obama: a initial alt-comedy president

Obama’s 10 many waggish lines from past correspondents’ dinners

 

Sources: “Presidential Anecdotes” by Paul F. Boller Jr., “White House Wit, Wisdom and Wisecracks: The Greatest Presidential Quotes,” by Phil Dampier and Ashley Walton, “The Wit Wisdom of Ronald Reagan,” by James C. Humes, “The Ford Presidency: A History,” by Andrew Downer Crain, “American in Quotations,” by Bahman Dehgan, “Presidential Leadership in an Age of Change,” by Michael A. Genovese, a John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum, “Rainbow’s End: The Crash of 1929,” by Maury Klein, a National Library for a Study of George Washington (at Mount Vernon), “The American Presidents from Polk to Hayes: What They Did, What They Said What Was Said about Them,” by Robert A. Nowlan, “American Statesmen, Second Series, Volume III,” by Charles Sumner Olcott, “Crazy Sh*t Presidents Said,” by Robert Schnakenberg, Smithsonian.com, and a repository of a New York Times and The Washington Post.

Presidential portraits by Michael Hoeweler for The Washington Post

Article source: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/arts-and-entertainment/wp/2016/04/27/the-single-best-joke-told-by-every-president-from-obama-to-washington/

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