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When Hollywood Ageism Hits Close to Home


Christoph Niemann

For years, a college crony (in her 50s) has banned me from revelation anyone we went to propagandize together. Since relocating to Hollywood, she deducted 10 years from her age (some of it with cosmetic surgery) to safety her essay career, she claims. She is fearful that my white-haired hair will “bust” her. Lately, she has been mostly out of touch. But a import that we demeanour so most comparison than her has rankled for years. When we confided my harm feelings to her, she was unapologetic. Blame a attention and ageism, she said, not her. Do we have a right to feel hurt?


Age, as fantasists have prolonged told us, is only a number. But patterns of numbers have meaning. If 50-year-old heading group customarily win a hearts of 30-year-old actresses in Hollywood films (as demonstrated by a totally nonscientific consult of cinema watched on a new cross-country flight), what happens to 50-year-old women? Who knows if this invisibility also pertains to writers? In any event, your crony is vital in never-never land: It takes about 3 mins to learn anyone’s age these days.

As for your harm feelings, they seem reasonable. Personally, we would be reduction harm by her comment of my looks (until we legalised her cosmetic surgery, anyway) than by her contrition during comparing with me. Still, we have common your honest feelings, and she deserted them. If we are committed to this friendship, we would never inhibit we from perplexing again. But as my (brutally efficient) nana used to say: “No use watering passed flowers.” And don’t out her as 50-something. Two wrongs. …

Release a Date?

I am a eldest of 5 adult children. While make-up adult a family home after a father died (our mom predeceased him), we came opposite a duplicate of my parents’ matrimony certificate. They distinguished their anniversary on Jan. 12, so we was astounded to see a tangible date was Jan. 6. But we was even some-more astounded to see a year: 1962 — after a initial 3 children were born. I’m smiling only essay this. Good on them! Question: Should we tell my siblings?


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K. J.

Pay dirt! As prerogative for a dull labor of clearing out a family digs, we were given a taste that will inform family gatherings for years to come. Was there a rite years before a state certificate was issued? Did they take wily pleasure in their secret? Was a Montague-and-Capulet play afoot? Your relatives have underscored a smashing poser of mankind, even for folks we consider we know inside out.

Absolutely share this tidbit with your siblings. You are one of 5 equals; keep it that way. Your relatives had some-more than 50 years to destroy this open request if they wanted to. And we substantially couldn’t stop yourself from revelation your brothers and sisters even if we tried. (I couldn’t.)

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Article source: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/25/style/hollywood-ageism-friendship.html